Humble Inquiry – Meaningful Connection Through Genuine Interest

Humble Inquiry

Humble Inquiry, a phrase coined by Edgar Schein, was explained by him as “The fine art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you don’t already know the answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.

Fundamentally, in our view, humble inquiry is a blend of a mindset and set of behaviours that help build meaningful relationships, connection and understanding. Humble inquiry involves adopting humility and curiosity and asking questions out of a genuine interest in others’ thoughts and feelings, rather than imposing one’s own assumptions or agenda. It also requires the application of focus and attentively listening to what the person you’re speaking to says as well.

At its core, humble inquiry is about fostering deeper, more sincere connections. It encourages individuals to set aside egos and engage in conversations with a mindset that is open to learning and understanding rather than merely responding or waiting to speak. This method is particularly effective in building trust and openness in various relationships — from personal interactions to professional environments.

The art of humble inquiry requires one to ask questions that are open-ended and non-directive. These questions are designed not to lead or manipulate the conversation but to explore and uncover the thoughts and feelings of others. For example, instead of asking, “Don’t you think we should start the project now?” one might say, “How do you think we should proceed with the project?” This subtle shift in phrasing can lead to significant differences in how the conversation unfolds, promoting a more collaborative and inclusive dialogue.

Benefits in the Workplace

In the world of work, leaders and managers who make space for humble inquiry typically have employees who feel valued and understood, which often leads to increased wellbeing, job satisfaction and performance. In addition, humble inquiry can also help set the foundsation of a psychologically safe and learning oriented culture.

Humble inquiry can also strengthen the internal social bonds within a team, which can also improve the leader or managers sense of connection, purpose, value and relationships, as well as their own wellbeing.

What holds us back

We ask a lot of people what holds them back from adopting more of a humble inquiry approach in the workplace, and we typically receive similar answers, most of which are aligned with the general guidance on what stops people doing more of this.

The most common answer we receive is that people think humble inquiry is time intensive, and they feel they don’t have time for it. This is a bit of a fallacy though as we can use humble inquiry as an approach in many of our existing interactions, so it doesn’t really time more time. It definitely can, though, take more effort. It can require some self-regulation and focus to really be on someone else’s agenda, to be interested, to be humble and to make space for others. It’s important to think of this as an investment though, not just a cost.

People also tell us that adopting this humble approach might not feel “leaderly” (i.e. leaders know the answers and are powerful), and that it might go against an organizational culture and what people expect. It’s certainly the case that some stereotypes of “leaders” seem far removed from the idea of humble inquiry, which is unfortunate. While this can make it a bit harder for people to adopt a humble approach, we find that when they do they see benefits fairly quickly.

Another thing that we think gets in the way and prevents people from adopting a more humble and inquiring approach is our egos. People generally agree that our egos can be a barrier to humility in the workplace. Overcoming these barriers and the sense of social threat that we might feel if we lower of status to a place of humility can be hard, but speaking about it is a great starting point.

We think helping people feel understood is a really powerful thing for leaders to do. As well as humbly inquiring, we can learn more about how to be a great listener and explore Otto Scharmer’s levels of listening.

These skills help to improve interpersonal dynamics and build trust in our team.

It could also be worth exploring coaching and coaching questions, which can often come from a similar place as humble inquiry.

It might be worth learning more in our podcast on Trust and Social Threats in work, which you can listen to below:

This is a really simple concept and set of behaviours, but we think it’s a very powerful one.

We know that some people find the behaviours around humble inquiry to come quite naturally, and some do not. For some people, it can feel very effortful to step into a place of humble inquiry. It can feel un-natural, un-comfortable and inefficient. However, most people appreciate being on the receiving end of appreciative enquiry, and exploring the concept first from the perspective of the receiving end can be a great way to open up conversations about these behaviours.

We’re very clear that these behaviours are also an investment from a relationship building perspective, as well as an investment in your team members’ work satisfaction from a leadership or management perspective.

Though we don’t always have time to behave in this way, nor is it always appropriate, we think it’s important for leaders and managers to recognise the relational benefits that humble inquiry can bring.

Schein, Edgar H, Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling. San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2013.

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